


(promise me it won’t change us) if we ever get famous

by crispycrownkoala



Series: the blessings of tighe [4]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: AgentCorp, F/F, Made For Each Other, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-17
Updated: 2019-06-03
Packaged: 2020-03-06 21:51:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18859810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crispycrownkoala/pseuds/crispycrownkoala
Summary: The media finds out. Alex and Lena spend the night loving each other.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Since I've never written anything close to sexual, this is really kind of a premiere for me. Let me know if it's fine? I'm currently working on the second chapter and hope to get some valuable feedback for it :)

Alex has never, not once, wondered what it would be like to sleep with Lena.

Before the mind-wipe, before so many things in her life changed so drastically, she knew that Lena was attractive, but she wasn’t attracted to her. Or maybe she was, but never let herself be aware of it; in any case, her thoughts about Lena never ventured in that direction, or if they did, never that far. After the mind-wipe came the realization of her feelings for Lena, and they got together pretty quickly after that. They fell into bed even quicker, both of them recognizing the attraction and seeing no reason for delayed satisfaction. Why make yourself wait for something both parties – enthusiastically – desire? They liked each other, they wanted each other, they were consenting adults, and before Alex had time to wonder about what it would be like, it was already happening. 

So no, she has never once wondered what it would be like to sleep with Lena. But she thinks about it, a lot. She remembers it. She fantasizes about it. (She’s only human, after all.) She doesn’t need to wonder because she knows, and what she knows is that the chemistry between them is amazing, and they fit together perfectly, and she loves being intimate with Lena in any way, shape, or form, but nothing compares to being intimate with her like this. 

Sex has always been a salient topic for her; it used to be always there, in the forefront of her mind, but not for good reasons (except the period of time when she was with Maggie). First, it was because she felt weird for never enjoying it, then she stopped having it and that made her feel wrong. After she got together with Maggie, she finally understood what the fuss was all about; and she thought a lot about how this kind of sex – the right kind – changed her whole perception. After Maggie, she had a one-night stand with Sara Lance, which was explosive and wild and pleasurable but ultimately left her with more negative feelings – guilt, shame, unease and indecision – than positive ones. After she finally got over that – over wishing Maggie was back in her arms every minute of every day and feeling like she had betrayed her by sleeping with Sara – she started dating again. Much to Kara’s chagrin. 

Oh, her sister was delighted that she finally put herself out there again. However, she was not so happy about the more or less constant string of women hitting on Alex, calling and texting Alex, and requesting a repeat of the great night they spent together. For a while – and it really only was fun for a short while – Alex had her pick, and neither she nor her dates were ever disappointed. Alex found out that she actually had game, and she found out that she was really good in bed. 

She never used to think that was actually a thing. Being good in bed? A much too general description for something that’s so individual and so intensely intimate. How can one be good at something that’s so different with every person you experience it with? Alex had been with guys in the past, in college, and no matter how good in bed they allegedly were, she never enjoyed it. Was there a rate? 80% of their conquests enjoyed it, and so that made them good in bed? 

But Alex wanted every woman was with to enjoy herself, no exceptions, and she always made sure that was case. She had one-night stands, yes, but never with anyone she didn’t care about on, at least, the most basic level – never without getting to know them a little bit first, and deciding she liked them – and never without giving it her all. Receiving is great, she learned that when she was with Maggie – but giving…giving gives her a different kind of rush, and she loves it. She loves making someone feel that good, loves it even more if they didn’t expect if from a near-stranger – and yes, she was always a little bit proud of herself for being able to get someone to breathlessly moan her name. 

Before Maggie, before having realized that she’s gay, Alex didn’t like sex and she was continually veering between disinterested and trying too hard. But now, she likes taking the lead, taking initiative, finding out what makes a woman shiver and moan and clench. 

What Alex particularly likes, what she loves, is finding out all those things about Lena, and practicing them on her. 

Lena may have been called an ice queen by others, but when she smiles at Alex it’s so warm, so electric, that she feels it could power every single appliance in the apartment. And when she kisses her, it’s all Alex can focus on. When she touches her, Alex wants it to never stop, wants to get closer and closer and closer until they’re just one, until there’s no telling where one of the begins or ends. Alex is addicted to how Lena tastes, and how she feels, and to making her feels at least as good as Alex feels when they’re together. 

Right now though, as they’re kissing and Alex is playfully pushing Lena up against the apartment door they just closed behind them, she can feel that Lena is not quite there. She’s distracted, hesitant. “What is it, babe?”, Alex mumbles between kisses. “You alright?” 

“I am”, Lena confirms, though it doesn’t sound completely sincere, especially considering that Lena’s hands are not wandering over Alex’s body, as they usually would be. 

No, her hands are hanging at her sides, and, if Alex is not mistaken, itching to move up and form a cross in front of Lena’s body. As soon as Alex recognizes her girlfriend’s desire for a defensive position, she takes a step back. “Lena?” 

“I’m sorry, Alex”, Lena sighs. 

“What for? We don’t have to-“ 

“Not that. Or, a bit that, but only because…I mean, how are you in the mood right now?” 

Alex tilts her head, eyebrows drawing together confusedly. “Should I not be? I’m sorry, I-“ 

“Don’t apologize”, Lena interrupts. “It’s me who’s sorry. I’m just surprised this is how you want to spend tonight, after…” 

“After…today?” 

Lena nods, and it may have taken Alex a bit too long to notice it, but she sure as hell is going to make up for it now: 

“I’m not mad. Did you think I’d be mad?” 

“No, I- yes, maybe a little. But you were upset. Earlier. Don’t deny it.” 

“Well, a little bit, maybe”, Alex concedes. “But not because of the picture, or the article.” 

Alex can tell that Lena wants to ask what the hell else there is to be upset about – they’d had a slanderous article printed about them in a gossip magazine, after all, so the rest of the day seemed pretty boring in comparison – but instead, she takes a breath and calmly asks: 

“No?” 

“No. I just don’t like seeing you like that.” 

“Like what?” 

“Doubting yourself. Doubting me, us.” 

“I’m sorry, Alex, I-” 

“I’m not mad”, Alex repeats. “I would never get mad at you for your feelings. I just want to help you feel more of the good ones and less of the negative ones.” 

“You do that, my love.” 

“I love when you say that”, Alex beams. “It makes me think that I’m getting through to you. That you know how much you mean to me.” 

“I do know that.” 

“Good”, Alex nods. “Then try to remember it when you get insecure, okay? I get feeling uneasy because of the mind-wipe, because it’s a bit out of our control and it’s scary. But the media? Babe, I knew exactly what I was getting into, and this is actually way less invasive than I expected.” 

Lena seems kind of floored by that. “You expected more than that?” 

“Sure, I mean, you’re high-profile. The media loves you. Sometimes they love to hate you, but either way, you get a lot of coverage. I had to make sure that my cover would hold up, so I tightened up my FBI cover story so much, I actually had to go into Langley to take their field test and meet my supposed colleagues.” 

“Wait, what?” 

Alex watches her carefully. “Which part of that would you like me elaborate on?” 

“Everything, please”, Lena sighs. “I’m actually having a hard time keeping up. How did you navigate this better than me? How did you think of it when I didn’t?” 

“Well, because it’s my job”, Alex points out. “It’s my responsibility, not yours. And can I just say that you’ve had a lot on your plate?” 

“So have you”, Lena argues. “And it is my responsibility. One, because I’m the reason we have to deal with it, and two, because I’m the one who is used to dealing with it.” 

“We deal with stuff together, don’t we? As healthy couples do?” 

“We do”, Lena agrees. “I guess I’m just not used to have a partner who’s so…capable. Reliable. Steadfast.” 

“Wow”, Alex smiles. “Those are some pretty good compliments.” 

“You are a pretty good girlfriend”, Lena smiles cheekily. 

“Only pretty good? That hurts.” 

“Let me kiss it and make it better”, Lena drawls. She moves to take Alex’s hand and draw her back to their previous position, but Alex is already there, taking up all of Lena’s space and caressing her with soothing motions. 

It’s slow, and sensual, and it’s deliberate, like everything Alex does. Alex is intense. It’s such a fascinating thing about her. Most people move about absently. They play with their fingers, waggle their feet, rock back and forth, lean to their sides, scrunch up their faces while thinking. And Alex is no different, sometimes. But most times, and Lena hasn’t yet figured out if it’s always been that way or if it came with the DEO training, every single move Alex makes is deliberate. Either she doesn’t move at all, or she moves only with precision. Each placement of her hands, her feet, each shake of the head or furrow of the brow, each turn to a side, it all leads somewhere. It’s not idle hands. It’s a razor-sharp focus. 

And god, when that precision and that focus is turned on her? Lena practically melts. 

Right now, she melts. 

And Alex catches her. 

And the rest of their conversation can wait until after. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is a little bit rushed and I'm sorry for that. I just wanted to get it out so that this part is finished before I have to stop writing for a while. I'm pregnant and the morning sickness (all day sickness, really) is kicking my ass. It's very difficult for me to drag myself to work and get through the day, let alone try and find energy for creative writing. Since everyone says that it gets better in the second trimester, maybe I'll be back soon :)

“I’ve thought about what it would be like”, Lena says softly. “To be with you like this.”

Alex grins. “In your bed, snuggled under your thousand dollar sheets, spent from a very intense round of love-making?” 

“Yes”, Lena replies drily. “And I have to say that you exceed all expectations.” 

“So…they were pretty low, then?”, Alex jokes good-naturedly. 

Lena swats her arm, snuggling further into her lover’s embrace. “You know full well how skilled you are, Alex Danvers.” 

“Well, thank you. I didn’t have any expectations for you to exceed, but I can tell you that I’ve never in my life felt like this. And it’s, I don’t know…really amazing, to be honest.” 

Lena doesn’t say anything to that, doesn’t move, doesn’t react at all, which tells Alex that she does have a reaction to that statement; one she doesn’t necessarily feel comfortable sharing, or doesn’t want to burden Alex with. Alex has learned the best she can do in these situations is to take a wild guess, a stab in the dark, and if Lena goes along with it, they can talk about it. If she doesn’t, it’s filed away for future examination. 

“Is this about you thinking I wouldn’t have developed any feeling for you without the mind-wipe? I mean, no I didn’t have any expectations because I didn’t think of you that way before. You kind of snuck up on me. But I know I would have gotten there eventually, I promise that I-” 

“It’s not about that”, Lena interrupts. “We’ve been through this. We can never know what would have happened without the mind-wipe, and a small part of me will probably always feel insecure about it, but I do trust you.” 

“So then...” 

Lena takes a deep breath. “You’ve never felt like this before?” 

“Uh…no?”, Alex questions. “Is that- do you not want-” 

“You were engaged”, Lena points out. “And while I know people can get married without having a very active or satisfying sex life, I don’t think that was the case with you and Maggie. What’s more than that, she was your first. I know how special that was to you. So while I don’t think you would leave me for Maggie if she ever came to win you back, I do think saying that you’ve never felt like this before is maybe a bit of an exaggeration.” 

Alex disentangles her limbs from Lena’s in favor of moving into a position from which she can actually see her lover’s face. “Leave you for Maggie?” 

Lena sighs. “I said that I don’t think you would do that.” 

“Then why even mention it?” 

“Because Kara did, and she also told me she brought it up with you, so I just wanted you to know that I don’t think you would do that.” 

Alex nods, deep in thought. 

“Why do you think I wouldn’t do that?” 

Lena frowns, surprised. “What kind of question is that?” 

“Just…”, Alex starts, trailing off and then taking a deep breath to start new. “I wouldn’t cheat. Ever, on anyone. But, more specifically, I would never cheat on you. And also I wouldn’t leave you for her, but I also just wouldn’t leave you, for anyone or anything. I think there’s a difference. Like, I’m not just ruling out a specific reason, I’m ruling out any reason.” 

There’s a few seconds of silence after that confession, because Alex has declared her intentions before, but never so decidedly, never with reference (and comparison) to who she once thought was the love of her life, and never with such finality. Or she did, but only in regards to Lena being part of the family, and not in regards to them being a couple. 

“There is a difference”, Lena agrees. “You want to know that I don’t just trust your character, but also your feelings for me.” 

“Exactly.” 

“Well, then let me make this clear for you: I believe you. I trust you. I love you. I know that you wouldn’t leave me for Maggie, or for anyone or anything else. I know that you won’t leave me, period. You’ll be here, with me, for as long as I want you to, and you’ll always do your best to make me happy and keep me safe. Because you love me. And when Alex Danvers loves someone, she does it wholly, and faithfully.” 

Alex is speechless. She’s fucking speechless and absolutely emotional and she’s so damn happy. 

“Are you crying?” Lena’s hand touches her face softly, and comes away wet with her lover’s tears. 

“Of course I am! You just told me that you love me. And you told me that you believe everything I’ve been trying to tell and show you. And you trust me. I’ve somehow managed to make you trust my love for you. That’s…big. I don’t even – how did I do that? Tell me how I did that so I can keep doing it.” 

Lena smiles, all wide and open and full of love. “You were just being yourself, love. And I don’t want anything more from you than that. We might not make any sense on paper, but I do believe we are perfect for each other. I would do anything not to lose that.” 

“You won’t leave me, either?”, Alex checks. 

“Not for anyone or anything”, Lena assures. 

Alex snuggles back into their embrace, sighing contently. “We’ve basically just said or vows, you know that, right?” 

Lena shrugs, seemingly unconcerned. “It might seem crazy, sure, but our lives are full of crazy things. And we agreed to do whatever comes naturally, to go at the pace that feels right to us. This feels right, doesn’t it? I never thought I could trust someone the way I trust you, but here we are. I let myself fall for you.” 

“And I’m so glad you did”, Alex says softly. “It’s a gift that I’ll never take for granted. But, you know, when I thought about telling you I love you the first time, I never imagined that you would say it for me!”, she grins. 

“Well I’m certainly not opposed to hearing you say it.” 

“I love you, Lena Luthor. I’m so in love with you.” 

“I love you too, Alex Danvers.” 

They kiss, but Alex pulls back again. “I’ve really never felt like this before, you know? I’m not saying I haven’t felt something like it, but not this.” 

Lena presses a quick kiss to Alex’s lips. “I believe you. And I meant what I said. If Maggie ever came back, I wouldn’t worry. I know you would probably want to try to be friends with her. I understand that, and I would support you.” 

“Really?” 

“Yes. After all, everyone would profit from an Alex Danvers in their life.” 

Alex laughs. “What does that even mean?” 

“It means you have someone who loves you unconditionally…and burns down the world if someone hurts you.” 

“You know”, Alex drawls, “you made some pretty great statements about my character today. And about sexual prowess. It feels amazing, knowing I can be that person for you. And I just want you to know that you’re that person for me, too.” 

“I do know that”, Lena answers. “It’s the most amazing thing. You give me confidence I didn’t know I was lacking. I love you.” 

“I love you, too.” 

“So…” 

“Yes?” 

“About your sexual prowess?” 

“Yes?” 

“I would like another demonstration, please.” 

Alex grins, rolling on top of Lena. “As you wish, babe. As you wish.” 


End file.
